The O'Malleys


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Joke ID#11775
Funny (3.21)
Rating (0.53)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byboodler
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Brothers Mike and Seamus O'Malley are the two richest men in town, and also the two meanest, foulest bad guys for many miles around. They would cheat and swindle anyone that they could.
One day Seamus dies, and Mike goes to the priest.
"Father," he says, "my good name will be upheld in this town. You will give the eulogy for my brother and in that eulogy, you are going to say 'Seamus O'Malley was truly a saint'."
"I will do no such a thing," says the priest. "It would be a lie."
"I know that you will," says Mike. "I hold the mortgage on the parish school, and if you don't say those words, I'll foreclose."
The priest is in a dilemma. "And if I pledge to say those words," he says, "you'll sign over the note, free and clear?"
"Done," says Mike, and he signs over the note.
Next day, at the funeral, the priest begins his eulogy.
"Seamus O'Malley was a mean-spirited, spiteful penurious,lying, cheating, arrogant and hateful excuse for a human being," he says, "but compared to his brother Mike, Seamus O'Malley was truly a saint."




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