Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You
| Details | |
|---|---|
| Joke ID | #15596 |
| Funny |    (2.67) |
| Rating |   (0.87) |
| Category | Animal |
| Submitted By | reptile5000     |
| Corrected By |
Fathead   |
| Special |
Add To My Favorites |
| Rate Joke | |
|---|---|
(61 votes so far)
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Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
He actually *does* have your tongue.
You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
You find blueprints for a Rube Goldberg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.
