Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road??

Joke ID#5721
Funny (2.37)
Rating (0.65)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bydemonic_spirit
Corrected By lyris
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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Richard M. Nixon: I just want to make one thing perfectly clear. The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Plato: For the greater good of man.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Osama Bin Laden: The chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha, ha, ha) only that it would be a martyr.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no other chicken has gone before.

Jerry Seinfield: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

George W. Bush: The chicken crossed the road because it was an evil-doer and we smoked him outta his hole and got him on the run.

L.A.P.D: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road and it was good enough.

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Nietzsche: The chicken does not exist.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Colonel Sanders: I missed one!?

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