Letter of Divorce


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Joke ID#9678
Funny (3.31)
Rating (1.36)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted ByKebron
Corrected By boodler
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Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by schatzy228 Jan 19, 2006

That was great!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by tinsel Jan 20, 2006

I've heard this one before and its still funny!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by joke_lover_101 Apr 07, 2006

poor ,poor wife

Comment score: 0  

Posted by bluejubba Sep 23, 2006

haha, that'll show her.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by salem33466 Feb 17, 2007

that chick deserved it lol

Comment score: 1  

Posted by funkaimunkai Mar 07, 2007

what a beyotch she deserved it

Comment score: 0  

Posted by juan3629 Oct 11, 2011

Ha she deserved that

Comment score: 2  

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