Carlin's Hurricane Rules


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Joke ID#9659
Funny (2.35)
Rating (1.07)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted ByPhaedorna
Corrected By boodler
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#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that - get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out; if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the governments fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's tv and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff; it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (For Christ's sakes, it's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand, would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless what the Poverty Pimps, Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton, want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by jhlcc Jan 17, 2006

this was no joke. i am offended that you would say anything like that. i am a katrina victim and i didn't find anything funny about that. sum people were not able to evacuate. you have to look at it both ways. sum people were just too poor to move. they had no choice.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Phaedorna Jan 17, 2006

I'm sorry if you found the joke disrespectful, it was not intended that way. The joke was simply Carlin's thoughts on what was covered by the T.V. reports.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by cartwheelmac Jan 28, 2006

Some people did loot and all of that!!!

Comment score: -1  

Posted by taran083 Feb 02, 2006

Carlin was just trying to interject some 'common sense.' But i'm afraid he kept digging the hole by intending to be funny and he just didn't leave a way to get out. I have respect for Carlin's Jokes, but sometimes he tries too hard.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by taran083 Feb 02, 2006

Carlin was just trying to interject some 'common sense.' But i'm afraid he kept digging the hole by intending to be funny and he just didn't leave a way to get out. I have respect for Carlin's Jokes, but sometimes he tries too hard.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by honey_11 Feb 13, 2006

i understand why you wouldn't find that funny, and i have to say, i didn't find it funny either

Comment score: 1  

Posted by jdillard Feb 14, 2006

You have to feet don't you. Walk out of there It dosnt cost any money to walk.

Comment score: -1  

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