New Years Resolutions


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Joke ID#9356
Funny (2.22)
Rating (0.78)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bybrain_dead
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1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes you think.

4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut!

8. Spend your summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Don't eat cloned meat.

10. Create loose ends.

11. Get more toys.

12. Get further in debt.

13. Don't believe politicians.

14. Break at least one traffic law.

15. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

16. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

17. Associate with even worse business clients.

18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

19. Wait around for opportunity.

20. Focus on the faults of others.

21. Mope about faults.

22. Never make New Year's resolutions again.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by stacyana Jan 04, 2006

My New Years resolution was number 22.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by flirtygirly Jan 08, 2006

lol

Comment score: 2  

Posted by boodler May 05, 2006

see 13; never EVER believe politicians!

Comment score: 2  

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