Email and Internet

Joke ID#9005
Funny (3.27)
Rating (0.43)
Submitted Byphynyxs
Corrected By gymnast_934
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An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address or internet access you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than two hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck. At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is purchasing the tomatoes he resells, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail and the internet five years ago, I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story: Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by schatzy228 Dec 12, 2005

Comment score: 12  

Posted by taran083 Dec 13, 2005

that was good. the " " was the kicker for me. good one lol

Comment score: 8  

Posted by FerretGirl Dec 18, 2005

This is a good one! (Please, if you think this joke is at least okay, click on the useful mark next to this comment)

Comment score: 30  

Posted by short_brunette Jan 04, 2006

You Got Me

Comment score: 1  

Posted by cartwheelmac Jan 06, 2006

That was hilarious!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by paigerm999 Jan 23, 2006

funny........def. betta than mi jokes

Comment score: 1  

Posted by coldfire Mar 14, 2006

GREAT ! not really a joke though but still like it very much

Comment score: 0  

Posted by speedywheels Apr 09, 2006

I am a janitor, you inconsiderate fool! Nah, just kidding!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Squelch Jan 18, 2007

pretty funny homes

Comment score: -1  

Posted by popesantaxiv Dec 08, 2007

Oh wow man I mean whoo wowoww!!!

Comment score: -1  

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