You Can't Ever be to Safe


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Joke ID#8860
Funny (1.22)
Rating (0.73)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byme310
Corrected By giglez
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* This is a good reminder, for all of us. You can never read this
too many times!!

1. Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough, USE IT!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS & LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be AWARE: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (and check out under the car as you approach)
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get
into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work
and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and a perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when
he abducted his next victim.

* Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls
by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

* Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby. This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer, in Louisiana.

* Forward this message to all the women you know. It may save a life.

* A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.

* I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Be Smart, Safe, and have a nice Holiday in the coming weeks ahead!




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by taran083 Dec 09, 2005

Yes, i value your intent, but as Truman got from roosevelt, "The buck stops here." Please Do Not Post This Here.

Comment score: 4  

Posted by kebron Dec 19, 2005

I agree this is not a message board. This is not funny. If someone has the ability to remove this please do

Comment score: 5  

Posted by Fathead Apr 19, 2012

Oh, just rate it low, people.

Comment score: 1  

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