The Perfect Pet

Joke ID#8795
Funny (2.8)
Rating (0.64)
Submitted Bygymnast_934
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A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The owner says, "How about a dog?"

The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!"

The owner says, "How about a cat?"

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned. The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed.

He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede.

The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede! The man can't imagine what happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door.

The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's the story?"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Just putting on my shoes!"

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by gymnast_934 Nov 25, 2005

please leave a comment cause i dont like insults... my jokes arent that good so if u could be courtous i thank u

Comment score: 2  

Posted by prettygirl Nov 27, 2005

dont say that your jokes are beter then mine and it was funny

Comment score: 2  

Posted by AaronBD Nov 30, 2005


Comment score: 4  

Posted by monkey_D_Luffy Dec 01, 2005

Awsome joke!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by zemoxian Dec 02, 2005

Three words, and I'll actually spell them out: Laughed Out Loud!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by munkyluver646 Dec 02, 2005

that was hillarious

Comment score: 4  

Posted by okie12342004 Dec 02, 2005

HA, HA, HA, SNORT, HA, HA, HA, SNORT. Very funny. Good going.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by goosh Dec 24, 2005


Comment score: 4  

Posted by Celanba May 17, 2006

It's cute! Don't put yourself down so much!

Comment score: 2  

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