Top 8 Idiots of 2000

Joke ID#7939
Funny (3.39)
Rating (0.45)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bydogdude
Corrected By giglez
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Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.

Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the
chopper was going in on the emergency locator beacon which activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run.
Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK"
and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably could read it anyway.
Idiot # 4

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!
Idiot # 5
A Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said, "Because I
don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then
ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

(Remind me to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!)
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

(This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.)
Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

(Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!)
Idiot # 8
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun and demanded cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said the couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by juggleboy502 Sep 01, 2005

dude that was so funny!! awesome joke dogdude!

Comment score: 9  

Posted by primevil999 Sep 03, 2005

omg this was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment score: 8  

Posted by shimmermaid Sep 03, 2005

THAT IS SO FUNNY!!! It is in my favorites...Awsome job!!!

Comment score: 8  

Posted by imafreak Sep 08, 2005

I dont get #3 or the sign part

Comment score: 5  

Posted by shimmermaid Sep 19, 2005

#3 is this- the guy wasn't very bright, so the teller at the opposite bank told him that if he wanted to hold them up, they would have to get there own deposit slip to write it on, or hand the note to the bank the slip was actually from. He believed her, and left, afterwhich she called the police and had him arrested. Also the sign things is just another joke that wasn't explained here. Supposedly, every stupid person should have a sign waring others of their stupidity. Alot of people know that, so they joke about it- ("Oooh, that was dumb! Let's give him a sign!") They are just kidding of course, but these stories are supposed to be for the people who REALLY need a sign! Hope that helps!

Comment score: 11  

Posted by me310 Dec 07, 2005


Comment score: 8  

Posted by monkey_D_Luffy Dec 07, 2005


Comment score: 8  

Posted by Frenchi Dec 14, 2005

Comment score: 8  

Posted by cartwheelmac Feb 07, 2006

OOH! Those people are idiots!!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by timmycool May 22, 2006

wicked! rock on!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by scouttrooper Jun 03, 2006

Wasn't that in this book? I forgot the title...

Comment score: 0  

Posted by crazy2010 Jul 18, 2006

hes gonna thro a fit cuz he didn't get his onion rings! poor baby! lol

Comment score: 0  

Posted by ntsoaky Jul 21, 2006

wow! hilarious!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Pink Sep 29, 2006

love all your jokes dogdude, but this ones going on my favourites! Good Job

Comment score: 0  

Posted by phoenixoflife Oct 17, 2006

Those are funny. even if they didn't really happen. I like to believe that the did really happen

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Giggles Feb 22, 2007

Going to my favorites!!! HILARIOUS!!!! There are IDIOTS everywhere! Heres your sign to all those idiots out there

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Joke_Master Oct 16, 2007

oh well.. this is kinda funny.. i've heard about #4 Before.. haha...

Comment score: 0  

Posted by kappa64 Jun 26, 2008

HAHA i like #5

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Fathead Mar 07, 2009

With a touch of Bill Engvall to it, eh?

Comment score: 1  

Posted by xJOKERx Mar 08, 2009

Yes that was great, especially #5! Criminals should study this one, and imitate too!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by luna103 Apr 01, 2011

i have a book of these kind of things, but these are new and really funny!!!!

Comment score: 1  

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