Signs Seen in USA

Joke ID#7547
Funny (3)
Rating (0.62)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bybeecool
Corrected By jedichick1
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Signs in the USA (mostly)

In front of a New Hampshire restaurant:
"Now serving live lobsters"

On the menu of a restaurant:
"Blackened bluefish"

In a Maine restaurant:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."

In a New Jersey restaurant:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."

On the walls of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
-- Sisters of Mercy"

On a long established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."

In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."

In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"

On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church"

In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."

In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!"

In a Massachusetts parking area reserved for birdwatchers:
"Parking for birds only."

In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is

In a laundry room:
"Do not put wet clothes in dryers, as this can cause irreparable damage."

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
"Do not activate with wet hands."

In a New Hampshire jewelry store:
"Ears pierced while you wait."

In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

A sign in an Asian seafood store in Madison, Wisconsin:
"Crap - .79/lb."

In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."

In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."

At a number of US military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

On a display of 'You are my one and only' valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs"

In the window of an Oregon general store:
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

In a Pennsylvania cemetary:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own

On the grounds of a private school:
"No trespassing without permission."

In a library:
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops
taking it away."

On a Tennessee highway:
"Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

In front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time you wash your car."

On a poster on a telephone pole in Oregon:
"Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help."

A sign on top of a San Fransico drug store located across the street from
the Transbay bus terminal:
"Terminal Drugs"

From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket:
"If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell
a crew member."

On a delicatessen wall:
"Our best is none too good"

On a roller caoster:
"Watch your head"

On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and

In downtown Boston:
"Callahan Tunnel / No end."

A sign on a front yard in York, Maine:
"Inexpensive, Quality Daycare - Openings Day and Night."

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by imlaughin Aug 11, 2005

a little long, but funny!

Comment score: 9  

Posted by kelsey777 Aug 28, 2005

i liked it but ive seen it lots of times before exactly like this

Comment score: 9  

Posted by fluffy5851 Oct 09, 2005

hmmmm... long.... funny.... GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!

Comment score: 6  

Posted by Shastaki Aug 29, 2006

I saw a store with a big sign in the window saying, "Low quality! High prices!" It wasn't a mistake either. I asked.

Comment score: 2  

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