Barbie


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Joke ID#7421
Funny (1.59)
Rating (1.14)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byhottie69
Corrected By boodler
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Barbie Dolls Inc. announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the California market.

Rancho Santa Fe Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a mansion. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic Ken.

Poway Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.

National City Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.

La Jolla Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Lakeside/East County Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans or a dickies mini skirt two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, volatile shoes, big bleach blonde white fried hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass
when she's drunk. A pickup truck is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Ocean Beach Barbie: This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. The other version has frizzy hair, a dingy white tanktop, low cut
jeans and scratch-n-sniff armpits.

Riverside Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there
see-through shirt Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, rusty old Ford pick up.

Texas Transplant Barbie: This bitch of a Barbie comes with a Ford SUV (Texas plates), a knife to stab other Barbies in the back, and tons of makeup. Carnivore Ken sold separately.

They are working on developing a "Compton Barbie", but she keeps getting shot.




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