To be a Good Dog..


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Joke ID#4534
Funny (2.64)
Rating (1)
CategoryAnimal  
Submitted ByAnchMike
Corrected By marigold
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Dear God:

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'

11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question.......

Dear God:

When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by sissy245 Nov 12, 2004

9,10,15,16

Comment score: 4  

Posted by juggleboy502 Jun 25, 2005

haha, i like the last one, its funny the rest are good too!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by irishflower Jul 06, 2005

thats a copy of #4814 in different order!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by anchmike Jul 06, 2005

4814 came after this one so it is a copy of this one!

Comment score: 3  

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