Mental Health Hotline


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Joke ID#3141
Funny (3)
Rating (0.47)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byfatty_lumpkin3
Corrected By Fathead
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Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by hubluza Feb 26, 2006

lol untill the end to the favs

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Celanba Apr 24, 2006

Way to mess with nutjobs!!

Comment score: -1  

Posted by coldfire Jun 16, 2007

Aint Manic depressive the same with bipolar disorder?

Comment score: -1  

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