Gates of Heaven


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Joke ID#2428
Funny (2.98)
Rating (0.99)
CategoryReligious  
Submitted ByNewf
Corrected By anchmike
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A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can you tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.

"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"

"About three minutes ago."





Comments on this Joke
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Posted by sunnyday311 Dec 19, 2005

It took me a minute, but I got it after I read the end again. Very funny!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Magic_Heiress Feb 14, 2006

that's very noble of him, rather sad...but a funny joke just the same.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by ouchy1 Jul 08, 2008

lol took me a second, but then i was rofling XD

Comment score: -1  

Posted by Fathead Jun 22, 2010

Well, he tried, poor guy. Good joke!

Comment score: 1  

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