Things you learn from your kids

Joke ID#1931
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1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a six-year-old.

11. "Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

21. Cats spit up twice their body weight when dizzy.

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Posted by deepsea Aug 08, 2005

This is definitly the funniest thing ive ever read good job

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Latina_marisa Aug 13, 2005


Comment score: 0  

Posted by auntiesis Jun 15, 2006


Comment score: -1  

Posted by undercover_joker Dec 22, 2006

all of those reasons r y i was the most hated child in my family!!! great job!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by SamanthaGold Feb 15, 2007


Comment score: 1  

Posted by AndYourPointIs Jan 02, 2009

LMAO funny esp the one about the roller blades dust bunnies and hair spray lol...i was that kinda kid...the wiredist things caught fire things ya nva thought possible wen i was a kid lol this is great

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