The Yellow Golf Balls

Joke ID#16787
Funny (2.11)
Rating (0.86)
Submitted Bythedoublew
Corrected By Fathead
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There was once a boy born named Jeff. When Jeff was born, he only had a father, since his mother had died giving birth, and as a result, he was also an only child. His father looked at his new son, proud over his new baby's good looks and wise looking appearance. The father had high hopes for his baby.

Soon, Jeff was already 4, and was sent to the local preschool. There, although the teachers said that he was a little misbehaved, still socialized a lot and made many friends. As a result, Jeff made his father proud of his son. When summer came and preschool ended, the father asked his son what he wanted as a present for making him so proud. Jeff thought a second and replied, "I want a yellow golf ball". So, without hesitation, the happy father bought his son a yellow golf ball.

Time passed, and Jeff was already in elementary school. Kindergarten was the same as preschool, so was first grade and second grade, Jeff had a great time, making friends and etc. Then when 3rd grade came Jeff was soon encountered with many obstacles, such as the popularity food chain and academics. Although, conquering these problems, Jeff managed to overcome them and get great grades, straight A's in fact. His father was so proud, and on graduation day, he asked him, "Jeff, what do you want for your graduation present?" Jeff replied, "I want a yellow golf ball." The father now got a little curious, wondering why Jeff wanted another yellow golf ball. But, he still bought him the yellow golf ball.

The summer zipped right by, and Jeff found him into the world of middle school. 6th-8th grade was challenging and tough, and distracted by a small crush in 7th grade, Jeff got an A-, although he soon got over it and got straight A's again. By 8th grade, Jeff was Valedictorian of his grade. His father was very very proud of Jeff, and when graduation day came again, he proudly hugged his son and let everyone know it was his flesh and blood that was valedictorian of the entire grade. So, he asked his son what he wanted for his graduation present, as well as a gift fro making him so proud. Jeff, again, said, "I want a yellow golf ball". With these words, the father got very curious, why over these years all his son wanted were yellow golf balls? He gave him other options, "Gee son, you really made your old man proud. I'll get you anything. Do you want a, uh...Xbox 360? An HDTV? Orrr..." Jeff just calmly said, "I want a yellow golf ball". Now, for the third time in his life, he bought Jeff a yellow golf ball.

Now, Jeff is in High School, where real challenges came. Jeff went through things such as peer pressure, curiosity, even more academic stress, and once again, the popularity chain. Freshman year went bumpy, although Jeff still delivered his usual amount of straight A's. In Sophomore year he got a girlfriend and smoked his first cigarette, decreasing his perfect grades, piling up A-'s and even a B. Of course, she dumped him in junior year, which sent him into depression; getting B's and even a C+. Then, when the SAT's came, Jeff got serious. He prepared for it and although it was difficult, he aced it. Although, when senior year came, Jeff had to decide to completely put himself together and he quit smoking and once again managed to get the straight A's. He was, once again, valedictorian. His father was now so proud of him. After graduation, he asked his son, "Jeff, you have filled my life with such happiness, I want to pay you back. What do YOU want the most?" Jeff thought a second, and said, "I want a yellow golf ball." There was an awkward silence, and the father was dumbfounded, and said, "You sure? You don't...want a car or anything...maybe a pony?" "I want a yellow golf ball." "Well...okay then." So, almost against his will, he bought his son another yellow golf ball.

Jeff got into Harvard University, and the circle once again repeated. He encountered same obstacles, which now he was prepared for and easily avoided/defeated. He got perfect scores and even a girlfriend, who dumped him shortly after. He still had many friends and got into graduate school, which he did not plan on going to since he decided he wanted to have a life. All the professors loved him, and every student looked up to him. He was the role model student of Harvard. Soon, the 4 years passed and graduation day came once again. His father had heard of him and his reputation he had made for himself at the school and for his future. He was so proud of him and thanked God for blessing him with such a talented boy as a child. Since Jeff was over 20 and officially a man now, at home after his graduation party his father popped a couple of beers and congratulated his son, and in all the happiness he asked, "Son...I cannot even describe what you have done for me...what do you want for your present? I will get you it." Jeff smiled and said, "I want a yellow golf ball" Right there his father just stood there for 5 seconds completely dumbfounded and confused. Why were yellow golf balls such an interest to his son? They could literally afford anything now (they were rich, you know, since all his son wanted were yellow golf balls). He said, "Are you absolutely sure? You don't want...a Ferrari, a house, a yacht?" "I want a yellow golf ball" So, feeling helpless but still happy at his son's achievements, he bought Jeff a yellow golf ball.

Jeff soon went to live away from his father and on his own, although he still loved him very much. He became CEO of both Microsoft and Macintosh, and he managed to combine the two companies, making him dirty stinking' rich. But, he was humble and lived in a quiet house in Kentucky. However, one day tragedy struck, Jeff was engaged in a car accident involving an Asian driving student. He was hospitalized and told his condition was fatal. His father was contacted immediately. He saw his magnificent son, now in a mangled state, and in all the sadness he asked Jeff, ignoring all financial factors, what he wanted. He would get him anything, anything in the entire world. Jeff laid there in the hospital bed, weak, although through some strength, he said, "Dad...I want...a yellow golf ball" The father just went, "..............", and now furious over the curiosity, he asked his son hastily although gently, "Why do you want a yellow golf ball? Really. All these years, why?" "I want a yellow golf ball." "...No, not unless you tell me" Jeff now sighed and said, "Well, father, I want a yellow golf ball because--"

Then he died.

This joke is dedicated to the friend that told me it, David S.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by the_hobo Jun 26, 2008

LMFAO XDXDXDXDXDXD so ironic but you wasted 30 minutes of my life!!!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by darkprince666 Jun 26, 2008

omg...that laughed my as* off but wasted so much of my life!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by jonas Jun 26, 2008

so...long! but so funny!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by brain23 Jul 24, 2008

I don't get it

Comment score: 0  

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