Funny Tidbits


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Joke ID#14962
Funny (2.8)
Rating (0.56)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted ByComfyAndJoy
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In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a
man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no
thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb"
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and
thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of
eleven: $6,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in
any given hour: 61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their
hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom
Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great
king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the
person died of natural causes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence
on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last
signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
----------------------------------------------------------
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any
other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
----------------------------------------------------------
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed
frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase........."goodnight, sleep tight."
----------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's
father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
----------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...
So in old England , when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and
quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
-------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is
the phrase inspired by this practice.
----------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick
their elbow!
----------------------------------------------------------

Don't delete this just because it looks weird.
Believe it or not, you can read it:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of th huamn
mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to
you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in
the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at
the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which
you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years
of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn
around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before
getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going
to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this
list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there
wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by taran083 May 31, 2007

should have broken this up.

Comment score: 4  

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