Most Annoying Pet Peeves!!!


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Joke ID#14078
Funny (1.79)
Rating (0.92)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bymeonly
Corrected By Fathead
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These are my pet peeves in no particular order.

1. People who insult my friends. You trash talk my friends you can't hang around me it is that simple.

2. You are talking on a cell phone not a boombox, so pick a RING not a SONG!

3. Read my rant on Darkness. It's on the blog right before this one.

4. People who try and open a locked car door at the same time you are pressing the unlock. And they keep doing it over and over. For heaven sakes DAD, (I mean people who do this. lol)

5. People who drive fansy sports cars, and they obviously think they are cool cuz they speed up and slow down quickly and change lanes in front of you. My FORD EXPLORER can and will crush your stupid uncool ass proudly.

6. Straight people who think sexuality is a choice.

7. Christians who think that they will win souls over to Jesus by telling non-Christians they are going to hell. Come on just quietly be clear that you love Jesus and pray that they will one day love Him too it is that simple. I have never told anyone that they are going to hell.

8. People who think children make people happy. Children anywhere within 100 feet of me, make me want to pull my hair out one by one.

9. People who bash the President, and think that that liberal sex maniac we had before is better.

10. If you don't know something, for God sakes SAY "I don't know." Stop sitting there straining your little brain trying to come up with a cool sounding explaination in order to make you look like you know something that you know absolutely NOTHING about.

11. People who have a 4.0 in drawing, cartooning, and jewelry making, are no different than those who get a 2.0 in Calculas, Biology, and Chemestry. Ok you have an A but WHAT ARE YOU TAKING?

12. Mexicans are not responsible for the demise of our country. When you talk about illegal immigrants talk about ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS NOT MEXICANS! If an Egyptian exchange student has an expired visa he is an illegal immagrant. If someone with really strong arms swam over here from Germany they are an illegal immigrant. Stop focusing on the Mexican boarder.

13. People who buy clothes that are ripped up and bleached out, um I might have an old pair of jeans with the knee and crotch missing that you can have for free. Now you can save up and buy a Ford.

14. People who text message just because they can. If you have something quick to say, or you are in an area where you can't talk by all means go ahead and text me, I pay for 400 messages a month, but if you are at home and have a thought that is more than three sentences long FOR GOD SAKES CALL ME. I can say in about 20 seconds what it is going to take me 20 minutes to type out on a key pad. Give me a break!

15. Little Johnny did not shoot up his playground because he listened to Eminem and played Grand Theft Auto. PLEASE!

16. People who think obese people are scum of the earth. Obesity can be an overeating "mental" illness but it can also be a biological/chemical disability, you wouldn't make fun of someone in a wheel chair would you? Find out before you point and laugh.

17. When you are driving down the street and you see a car in the middle lane with their blinker on waiting to turn across on coming traffic.....You are the only or one of the only cars coming at them....you have seen them since they appeared to be a little dot, and they sit there until you are so close you can read their licence plate and then they decide to turn, leaving you no choice but to slam on your brakes. Um what were you doing for the last 5 minutes I have been coming up on you YOU MORON! What kind of a licence do you have a fishing licence?

18. When you are driving and the person in front of you turns their blinker on, starts slowing down, comes to almost a complete stop and then decides oh gee there is a middle lane maybe I should go there. GET INTO THE MIDDLE LANE AND THEN SLOW DOWN! WHO GAVE YOU YOUR LICENCE?

19. People who drive down the street with their music blasting so loud YOUR car is literally shacking. Um can you even hear the words when it is that loud? Don't your ears hurt?

20. Automated phone lines. For God sakes PAY SOMEONE TO PICK UP THE FREAKIN PHONE AND SAY HELLO THIS IS "MR. BLA" HOW MAY I HELP YOU THIS LOVELY SUNSHINNY AFTERNOON!

21. Straight girls who think it's okay to hit lesbians really hard, because they figure well they are too macho to hit us back. Ok that is true I don't like slapping on girls and I won't..... but you little prissy girls don't know your own strength. OWCH.

22. People who have LOUD conversations on their cell phones in public and when you look over, they give you this look like "excuse me but your listening to a personal call." and its like well excuse me but if you would take it down to fog horn level I wouldn't have to listen.

23. When your in a store and the electricity is out and the clerks don't know how to make change. Shouldn't you need to know basic math to handle a cash register?

24. Girls who wear clothes that display all of their assets and they look at you like you pervert your staring at me. Its like well when your standing there like a human billboard advertising your products to the city WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

25. Girls that think it is okay to walk up and tell you something like oh man I just started my "monthly" or my bra is twisted, or oh man my underwear is riding up. Come on now that is the only think I am going to be thinking about all day now. Thanks for the info. NOT!

26. People who get the wrong number more than once in a five minute period. Ok I did not call up my service provider and get my number changed in the last thirty seconds so if you dial the number on your napkin and it is me instead of whoever your tring to get a hold of, then chances are it will be me again if you hang up and automatically start dialing again.

27. People who telephone solicite for not a product but a cause. It's like if I was interested in giving my pennies to support some disease then I would go online and do it, I don't need you calling me thank you very much.

28. People who don't concider fish pets. Or if they do, they don't concider them important pets, its like oh don't bother to save him he was like three bucks. Man fish have their own personalities and uniquenesses just like dogs and cats. My Oscar is freakin smart man. He waggs his fin when I come in the room, if I as much as touch the drawer where his food is he starts dancing and jumping out of the water...splashing back down. He plays with decor like bath toys, I had to take a few things out cuz I thought he was going to break the tank, he pick stuff up and throw it against the glass. I guess that is entertaining??? Give the fine finned creatures a little credit and a little respect.

29. Computers are suppose to make things easier. When using wizards unless you know what you are doing, don't bother, because in the time it takes to figure out the wizard you could have had your project done freehand three hours ago. So why do some people INSIST upon screaming crying and pulling their hair out over wizards because they think they should work. Ok they do work if you know how, if you don't it's not the end of the world experement sometime when you are not trying to get something important done for crying out loud.

30. People who don't pull over for the cops, they run. It's like people PLEASE where do you think you are going. Out of 1000 people that run three might get away. The rest get an additional list of things they are going to jail for, and some weren't going to jail to begin with but they are now. STUPID.

31. People who cause a traffic clog by coming to a complete stop to 'observe' a wreck. Ok here is the definition of a wreck, two or more cars collided, people are either going to the hospital or getting out to exchange information. No one is going to put on a puppet show near the wrecked vehicles so please move yours out of my way.

32. People who drive with their blinkers on. Cuz you never know if they are seriously going to try and get in front of you or if they are just stupid.

33. A reverse on 32 people who put their blinkers on at the last second when they are the only car coming toward you and you could have gotten on with your life about twenty different times but no they have to get right up on the edge of the driveway and then turn it on...its a little late for that now moron.

34. People who cover their windows and bumpers with fifty thousand stickers. I can understand want a sticker or two, but why make your car look like a high school locker?

35. Environmentalists.... I have going to drive my SUV proudly until the day I die and I will not car pool unless it is extremely convenient for me so quit your sniffling. You want my monster off the road you are going to have to shoot me.

36. People who sleep outside to get tickets to a movie/game or to buy some limited product. It's like come on are you volunteering to be a pothole? Not only that but if you have to do that whatever your waiting for is going to three times as expensive as if you just waited.

37. People who insist that every product has to be the name brand they can't save a few bucks and but the store brand. Come on there is one assembly line and two packages. You are paying for the name not the product. STUPID!

38. People who have a "cool" catch phrase or word that they say over and over and OVER again. It's like ok I hear you say "no doubt", "no joke", or "sweet" a million times already.

39. The holidays when you go to three different stores, fight in three different parking lots, wait on twelve different employees to find a gift and then wait behind the old woman who lived in a shoe with her kids in the check out line while she swears her socks rang up fifty cents more and then the checker has to shut down her til and go check it out then come back, then you get the gift home and Christmas morning the person opens it gives it a quick once over with their eyes and then sets it next to them and grabs the next gift without as much as a thank you kiss my ass its raining in texas.

40. Those stupid reality TV shows. I don't want any amount of money bad enough to do any of things they do on fear factor survivor..... Or I don't want any girl enough to fight twelve other people in ridiculous contests.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by haha92 Dec 21, 2006

i completely agree with 9,16,24,26,and 29!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by schatzy228 Dec 26, 2006

my pet peeve is people who write worthless lists on a joke site

Comment score: 5  

Posted by Battery Apr 11, 2007

my pet peeve is schatzy228 writing annoying comments

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Fathead Aug 28, 2012

Someone explain #6 to me.

Comment score: 0  

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