Simon the Crab


Details
Joke ID#1384
Funny (1.64)
Rating (0.63)
CategoryAnimal  
Submitted Bydsquared
Corrected By boodler
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Simon the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Simon in tears.

"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Simon.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Simon was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Simon the crab strode in.

The lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.

Slowly, Simon the crab made his way across the floor, and all could see that he was walking, not sideways, but FORWARDS; yes FORWARDS, one claw after another!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he looked the King Lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush for quite a while.

Finally, the crab spoke - "Bugger, I'm pissed."




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by datra16 Jun 16, 2003

D, i love you, but i do NOT get it.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by dsquared Jun 16, 2003

GAH!!! How do people normally walk when they are drunk?... stagger sideways?... how does a crab normally walk... sideways... therefore if a crab was drunk how would he walk... forwards. Though I imagine it won't be that funny for you now that I've had to explain the punch line.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by hilo Jul 17, 2003

yeah, I still don't get it either. I suppose I get the drunk part but the punch line??

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dsquared Jul 17, 2003

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways." ... You are lead to believe that he is going to come out with some brilliant statement or something about conquering all to walk forwards so he could marry the Kings daughter yet the humour is in the true reason for being 'able' to walk forwards. *bangs head against the wall* ;P

Comment score: 1  

Posted by dsquared Jul 17, 2003

Funny? Personally, I pissed myself laughing when I read this ;o) as I did others I know. Maybe it's kinda cultural thing or something... are you from the US hilo? I seem to remember from Braingle that you are?

Comment score: 1  

Posted by hilo Jul 25, 2003

yeah, fom AZ

Comment score: 0  

Posted by einat17 Aug 03, 2003

LOL that's funny!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dsquared Aug 03, 2003

Thanks Einat

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dakini1 Aug 13, 2003

LMAO! As you said that you did, I nearly pissed myself laughing! Great joke! Keep 'em coming!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by absy Dec 07, 2003

*lmao* @ D "banging head against the wall" aww don't hurt yourself, that was just way funny in context. *hugs* now that you explain its funny....kinda....

Comment score: 0  

Posted by SamanthaGold Jul 27, 2005

CAN"T STOP LAGHING INCONTROLABLY

Comment score: 0  

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