Pick Up Lines


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Joke ID#13235
Funny (2.33)
Rating (2.49)
CategoryInsults  
Submitted Bycubsfan1
Corrected By boodler
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These pick up lines are so nasty, they're insults...

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I like every bone in your body, especially mine.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

Baby, I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

Hey baby, let's play army; I'll lay down you can blow me up.

If your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

You're like Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

If you were a car door I would slam you all night long.

Baby, you're so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out?

Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile.

Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Can I have fries with that shake?

I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away.

Your daddy must have been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.

My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!

I'd look good on you.

When does your centerfold come out?

So do ya wanna see something really swell?

I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

You have nice legs. What time do they open?

Do you like Subway? How about my foot-long?

Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it?

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!

Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.

You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!

Are you a parking ticket, cause you have fine written all over you?

If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?



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Posted by comedygrl2004 Apr 04, 2007

these are good! lol

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