Defining the Americans

Joke ID#12548
Funny (2.97)
Rating (0.71)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byboodler
Corrected By soaringeyrien
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We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.

We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.

We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping, or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall, or on the lake, we talk about business.

We are the only people in the world who will pay $8.00 to park our car while eating a $5.00 sandwich.

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.

We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power.

We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.

We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by mellew Jul 13, 2006

I hate to say it but it is sooo true

Comment score: 1  

Posted by linkofhyrule Jul 14, 2006

The Title fits! Thats us all over again. Hehehe...

Comment score: 2  

Posted by timmycool Jul 14, 2006

hahahahhahaha!!! great joke boodler

Comment score: 2  

Posted by dailybeans Jul 14, 2006

You know...tha's not really that funny.

Comment score: -1  

Posted by hotchick_802 Aug 05, 2006

im not an american but the joke is so true!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by DennysGirl Nov 30, 2006

Of course it's funny. lol.

Comment score: -1  

Posted by breakagex May 04, 2007

I'm an American, and I can tell ya: This joke is too true! good one :]

Comment score: 2  

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