Dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide

Joke ID#12201
Funny (2.6)
Rating (0.75)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bystang99
Corrected By Fathead
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Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

* is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.

* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."

* may cause severe burns.

* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.

* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.

* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.

* has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.


Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. In the midwest alone DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

* as an industrial solvent and coolant.

* in nuclear power plants.

* in the production of styrofoam.

* as a fire retardant.

* in many forms of cruel animal research.

* in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.

* as an additive in "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!


The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.


Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this dangerous chemical. What you don't know CAN hurt you and others throughout the world.

(Note: Dihydrogen monoxide is another way of saying H2O, or just plain water)

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by bibidybobidyboo Jun 25, 2006

good joke. but anyone who has ever done chemistry should have worked it out within the first 2 lines, it was a bit too long.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by DennysGirl Jun 28, 2006

Why is this in the lightbulb section?

Comment score: 1  

Posted by crazy2010 Jul 09, 2006

im sorry, but i don't get it... some 1 explain please!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by hubluza Jul 12, 2006

uhh... its sayin water does this

Comment score: -1  

Posted by Sapah209 Aug 01, 2006


Comment score: -1  

Posted by mydarklife Aug 13, 2006

loveed loved loved it!!!!!! i dont understand why it was under light bulb (maybe an error) but it was great!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by stang99 Aug 14, 2006

it was an error.

Comment score: 1  

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