The O'Malleys

Joke ID#11775
Funny (3.21)
Rating (0.53)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byboodler
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Brothers Mike and Seamus O'Malley are the two richest men in town, and also the two meanest, foulest bad guys for many miles around. They would cheat and swindle anyone that they could.
One day Seamus dies, and Mike goes to the priest.
"Father," he says, "my good name will be upheld in this town. You will give the eulogy for my brother and in that eulogy, you are going to say 'Seamus O'Malley was truly a saint'."
"I will do no such a thing," says the priest. "It would be a lie."
"I know that you will," says Mike. "I hold the mortgage on the parish school, and if you don't say those words, I'll foreclose."
The priest is in a dilemma. "And if I pledge to say those words," he says, "you'll sign over the note, free and clear?"
"Done," says Mike, and he signs over the note.
Next day, at the funeral, the priest begins his eulogy.
"Seamus O'Malley was a mean-spirited, spiteful penurious,lying, cheating, arrogant and hateful excuse for a human being," he says, "but compared to his brother Mike, Seamus O'Malley was truly a saint."

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by marigold Jun 03, 2006


Comment score: 2  

Posted by girliepie Jun 03, 2006

Where do you get all of these jokes! You can't possibly tell me that you made up all 90 somthin' of those jokes you submitted!

Comment score: 5  

Posted by timmycool Jun 05, 2006

hahahahahahaha! wicked!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by irishflower Jun 06, 2006

ha a preist with a sense of humor thats great

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mellew Jun 28, 2006


Comment score: 1  

Posted by speedywheels Jun 30, 2006

I've only thought up about 8 in the past year. I don't know those other guys get up there. Good joke!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by Joke_Master Oct 15, 2007

What a naughty, naughty priest!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by snakeyboy Sep 30, 2009

ACtually boodler has submitted over 500. he has 69 pages of jokes that he submitted.

Comment score: 2  

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