Old Sayings and Their Real Meanings (1)

Joke ID#11272
Funny (2.91)
Rating (0.52)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bylyris
Corrected By boodler
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Why are they called old sayings? Are they really old? If someone came up with a new one, would it be a new saying?

"A penny saved is a penny earned."
Who cares about a penny? A more appropriate version would be, "A penny saved is absolutely worthless. Try a quarter next time."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Why? What if apples went extinct? What would happen then? What if you were allergic to them? What if your dad was a doctor? Would that keep him away?

"Ignorance is bliss."
I though bliss was a GOOD thing...

"Don't count your chickens before they are hatched."
But you can't! Before they are hatched, they'd be EGGS.

"Ask no questions and hear no lies."
But what if they tell them anyway?

"Time is money."
But money isn't time...

"Every bird loves to hear himself sing."
Annoying people don't have anything better to do than listen to themselves talk. (Bonus: Ask them, "Do you just like to hear yourself talk?")

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."
What about women? Does it really make you wealthy?

"There is safety in numbers."
If I had a math book, and 50 Native Americans are trying to kill me, the numbers in the book won't do me much good, eh?

"Every picture tells a story."
Even a stick figure?

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