Grammar Rules


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Joke ID#10440
Funny (2.92)
Rating (0.54)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted ByCelanba
Corrected By Fathead
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1) Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3) And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5) Avoid cliches like the plague.
6) Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7) Be more or less specific.
8) Parenthetical remarks (however relevent) are (usually) unnecessary.
9) Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10) No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad, too.
11) Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
12) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13) Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary, it is highly superfluous.
14) One should never generalize.
15) Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16) Don't use no double negatives.
17) Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18) One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20) The passive voice is to be ignored.
21) Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22) Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23) Kill all exclamation points!!!
24) Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25) Understatement is probably not the best way to propose Earth-shattering ideas.
26) Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27) As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28) If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29) Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30) Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31) Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32) Who needs rhetorical questions?
33) Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34) Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by gilmoregirlsfan Feb 26, 2006

Love it!!!

Comment score: 6  

Posted by taran083 Feb 28, 2006

Lol! oh i feel bad for people trying to learn english. They're going to look at this and go what the heck? lol!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by speedywheels May 14, 2006

Gud won. Ill tri too folow thees ruls!!!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by nogakat Feb 05, 2007

That, was, really, funny, seriously!!!!!!!

Comment score: 2  

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