Life's Unanswered Questions, Part 3


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Joke ID#10155
Funny (2.57)
Rating (1.14)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bytaran083
Corrected By yourwrstnitemare
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Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about.

1) Can you cry under water?

2) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

3) What disease did cured ham actually have?

4) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

5) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

6) Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

7) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

8) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

9) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why is there a stupid song about him?

10) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

11) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

12) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

13) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

14) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

15) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

16) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by fauck Feb 09, 2006

I don't get many of these. Can someone explain?

Comment score: 3  

Posted by fauck Feb 10, 2006

what do you mean kidding?? i dont get 3 4 7 8 9 10 12 14 15 16

Comment score: 4  

Posted by fauck Feb 11, 2006

can you not be rude? my english is not good anyway and i can't understand a lot of english. simple words like this i can understand. my english is low level. most people near me english is low level too or no english.

Comment score: 4  

Posted by ass_hole Feb 11, 2006

Well, I don't get a few of them either. I usually ignore it if I don't get it but if you want to explain, fine.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by cartwheelmac Feb 13, 2006

#3 They have ham called cured ham. If you get well after being sick you are called cured. #4 I don't really understand that either. #7 is ladies underwear and both are one piece but one is plural (or like two) and the other is singular (or one). #8 a toaster cooks bread, and you can select which level of cooking you want and it says that most burn the bread so bad people would not eat it. #9 There is a song that goes 'Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care...' #10 I am not sure about this one either cause I haven't watched Gilligans island. #12 There is a cartoon called Looney Tunes I believe and it features two dogs. One stands upright while the other walks on all fours. #14 the alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star do have the same tune. #15 They figure you sang the songs in #14 to figure #14 out. #16 I don't get it either.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

Sorry for being rude, i wasnt trying to be. At any rate, here are the explanations for the ones you were talking about. I've spaced them into different comments because of how long the explanations are.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#3) Cured ham is a type of food that you can buy at the supermarket, and the joke is figuring out why it's called that. The question is which disease did it have before it was cured?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#4) There is an invention on luggage (which is what you pack your clothes in to go on a trip) that allows you to pull the luggage without having to carry it, and that invention is "the wheel" which is considered our very first 'invention' ever. The joke is that we have used spacecraft to put people on the moon before figuring out that "the wheel" would be a good idea to put on luggage.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#7) A bra is what women use as an undergarment to hold their breasts under their clothes. Bra is short for "Brassiere" which you might know better. Panties is the american slang for "pantaloons" which women wear as "underwear". The joke is that bra is singular, even though women have 2 breasts, and panties is plural even though they have one vagina.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

# Toasters bought in the united states have settings from very light to very dark. The very dark setting burns the toast very very black. (every organic "thing" is made of carbon, and when carbon burns, it turns black) The question is why do we have that setting if no one ever uses it.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

that should be "number 8".

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#9) is a song for little kids that DOES go "Jimmy cracked corn and i dont care" and since no one cares, why is there a song about jimmy cracking corn (by the way, to "crack corn" means your harvesting it, taking the kernals off of the stalk).

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#10) Gilligans island is an old 1950s to 1960s television show. Its about a ship that was wrecked on a desert island with 5 or 6 people. One of them was a professor, who could build just about anything if he had the right tools. the question is if he was so smart, why didnt he just repair the hole in the boat so they can sail off?

Comment score: 3  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#12) Goofy and Pluto are characters created by "Walt Disney." a very famous theme park creator and cartoonist in America since 1940. One of his very first cartoons was Mickey Mouse and his dog "Pluto." Pluto was your every day dog. He acted like a dog and couldnt talk. Goofy was another character of Disney's. Except he was a dog also, but he could walk and talk and think etc etc. The question is why did Disney choose to have pluto act like a regular dog when everyone else could walk and talk?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#14) both of those songs do have the same tune, but not everyone knows that. They are famous songs sung here in America. the ABC song is for kids ages 5 and 6 to help them learn the English Alphabet, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is a song also for kids of that age to help them get to sleep. Mothers would sing that for them. Also, another song that has the same tune, and used in the same way as Twinkle Twinkle little star is "Baa Baa Black Sheep, Do you have any wool?" but thats not part of the questions, and i hope that didnt confuse you further.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#15 was a joke with the human "Psyche." which is the explanation for why humans do things the way they do. One thing humans like to do, is to "test" everything for themselves just to be sure. Its hard for most people to just accept things if someone just tells them (ie: Your mother tells you to not touch the stove because it's hot, and you, as a young child, decide to touch it anyways just to see if it's true) It's always a joke to poke fun at the human psyche which tells us to do the opposite if we're told to do something.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

#16) An asteroid is a rock in orbit around the sun. Between Mars and Jupiter (the 4th planet and the 5th planet from the sun. Earth is the 3rd) there is an "asteroid belt" where there are many many rocks. Scientists think it was supposed to be a planet, but no one knows for sure. The hemisphere is a layer in our atmosphere before it becomes "space." There is also "statosphere" and "thermasphere"... but that's not important. A "hemorroid" is a blister around your rectum that can get infected and when that happens, you need surgery to get it corrected. The joke is that an "asteroid" sounds like "Ass-roid" and yet it's for a "rock" in space, and a "hemi-rroid" is for a "rock" on your butt. Why would you call a hemorrhoid for that rock, when an asteroid is what it should be called since it's on your "ass".

Comment score: 4  

Posted by taran083 Feb 13, 2006

I hope that helps. Any further questions, i'll respond. Again i wasn't trying to be rude. So i'm sorry.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by fauck Feb 17, 2006

thanks that helped a lot.

Comment score: 3  

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