Airplane Maintenance


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Joke ID#773
Funny (3.16)
Rating (0.45)
CategoryTech  
Submitted Bymorrigan
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"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by arjun Jan 11, 2004

i plane-ly rate it sky high!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by idiot_genius May 08, 2006

Did this actually happen?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by ntsoaky Aug 31, 2006

What a crew. Very good answers

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Fathead Oct 05, 2012

"Something tightened in cockpit." "Evidence removed." Har.

Comment score: 1  

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