Bumper Stickers

Joke ID#5840
Funny (3.01)
Rating (0.62)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted ByFrostedTangerine
Corrected By boodler
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These are actual bumper stickers that were found on people's cars:

The proctologist called; they found your head.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off.

Guys; just because you have one,
doesn't mean you have to be one.

If you can read this, I can
slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.

Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.

Some people just don't know how to drive.
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Try not to let your mind wander, it's too small, it'll get lost.

Welcome to America! Now, learn to speak English.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by Lemonie Apr 20, 2005

I liked #4 best lol

Comment score: 4  

Posted by munky000 Apr 20, 2005

Those are sooo funny

Comment score: 1  

Posted by maria_08540 Apr 20, 2005

when i was at a nursing home, i saw one that said, 'I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.'

Comment score: 4  

Posted by darthforman Jun 24, 2005

good ones, find more

Comment score: 2  

Posted by shimmermaid Jun 28, 2005

good one

Comment score: 0  

Posted by SweetTooth1479 Dec 06, 2005

maria u should use dat 1 as a joke

Comment score: 0  

Posted by sunnyday311 Dec 15, 2005

The fourth one is definately the best! Five smilies for you!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by frenchi Mar 08, 2006

I love the last one! It's Hilarious!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by idiot_genius May 23, 2006

Quit reading my bumper sticker and watch the road!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by coolhndsme Jan 05, 2007

very funny

Comment score: 2  

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