The Ultimate Collection of Signs

Joke ID#499
Funny (3.19)
Rating (0.73)
Submitted Bydsquared
Corrected By markmonnin
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On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."

Sign over a Gynaecologist?s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Tank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by Gizzer Mar 25, 2003

These are great!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by datra16 Mar 25, 2003

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************** this is actually the slogan of a plumber here in town!!! hahaha. D, i'll have to take a pic and email it to ya. hehe

Comment score: 2  

Posted by marymary Apr 25, 2003

on a cobbler's front door : "I will heel you I will save your sole I will even dye for you"

Comment score: 4  

Posted by hamburger Jun 22, 2005

I like the electric company one the best. I like marymary's cobbler one too.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by dsquared Jun 23, 2005


Comment score: 0  

Posted by juggleboy502 Jun 27, 2005

Here's one that i've seen: At a parking lot *************** NO PARKING lol, these are real funny!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by dsquared Jun 27, 2005

Thanks... heh, no parking eh so are you allowed to just leave the car on a slow roll?

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Omni715 Jun 21, 2006

at a fast food restaurant "parking for drive-through only"

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Hugme12 Apr 08, 2008

heres one At a drive through only restraunt Come in through the front door.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mchad Oct 13, 2011


Comment score: -1  

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