19 Ways to Make People Think You are Insane


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Joke ID#4720
Funny (2.6)
Rating (0.89)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byskoolkid
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1.(Of course) Laugh hysterically and for no reason.

2. Pretend you holding something like a small knife and swing at the air as if you are trying to cut something. If someone asks, say you were misinterpreted or deny the whole thing.

3. Wear headphones everywhere you go, leaving the plug dangling out, easily seen, and then stationary knod, as if to a beat. Pretend not to hear anyone unless they touch you to get you attention. Periodically forget to take off headphones when you are touched and act confused when you cannot hear them.

4. Sit in front of a library computer and twitch your eyelid for 20 seconds, the get up and browse the fiction E section. Repeat.

5. Sit in front of a public computer on Windows 95, 98, or 2000. Click the start button. Click it again ... and again. After clicking it for about 10 minutes, declare that you need another computer because your start button is broken. When someone proves it is not broken, say "Black magic!! You all use black magic!! Quicly grab a sheet of paper, draw the apple logo on it, hold it up and shout "CURSED DEMONS OF THE DARK, BEGONE!!!" Then return to your normal affairs as if you never clicked the start button.

6. Carry an egg with you. If anyone says the word egg, or asks about the egg, jump in place and pretend it was never said.

7. Ask a person at a library information desk how to calibrate an OMG to an SOL when the OMG's GD is set up to accept SOBs. Bother the person relentlessly about this question, arguing that the person must have that information, being at the information desk. Complain to the library on the desk worker's inefficiency to answer questions.

8. Go to a games hobby store. Ask them if they have... suddenly forget the name, then remember it has 'Robo or Legend in it's name or something.' Let the fun begin.

9. Go to a Radioshack and relive the mind-messing. When they ask for your name, say 'Toggattoobee,' but spell it with random letters, with 3 or 4 consonants together. When they ask for address, say something along the lines of:

Kshl (pronounced 'eggbattar') Goprktol
98w0Z D. Squidhoarder Gorge
Popsicscarn, 5Y, 45r1+-x3&k

10. Sit on a bench with an R/C toy car remote. Pretend to control people walking by. Make loud engine and tire squealing noises.

11.Tell your friend you are going to do a great magic trick. Give him the three of Diamonds, face up, from the deck. shuffle the deck. guess that your friend has the 96 of Purple. Then guess the S of Mushrooms. Then guess the Prince of Wales. Then ask for his card. Look at it for awhile, then give up and say you didn't like the trick anyway.

12. Buy those bead kits where you make animals, santa claus, etc. Make them. Always carry at least one with you. Whenever you see a certain person, such as a roommate or sibling, whisper nasty gossip to the bead object, but not so loud as so the person can hear. Make sure to eye that person paranoidally.

13.Buy 1 of every nightlight you can find. Say you are starting a collection. After 3 weeks, rip the decorative fronts, covers, or outsides of the nightlights. When someone asks, say you'll get back to him on that, then hastily throw them all away. Deny their existence and all knowledge you have of them.

14. Fill a garbage bag full of leaves. Dump them in a pile on your roommate's bed. Play in it. Comment on the beautiful foliage.

15.Ask someone why they hate you. Pretend you never asked.

16. Right here! All purpose illogical things to say! Use them:

To answer a question
Suddenly for no reason
To interrupt a conversation
And to always, always pretend you never said it. So here we go!

"I got it! Suddenly it is so clear!"
"You know, I always will regret doing that."
"When a Rubik's Cube is broken, and nobody is around to fix it, do I care?"
"Fub!"
"Nuk!"
"Twee!"
"Gan!"
"Fireman Jellyfish."
"What? What? What? What? What? (etc.)"
"I wonder what it's like to be a slice of cheese."
"Yes. I mean no. I mean... Maybe."(best used to answer questions that are NOT yes or no)

17. Use the 'Confused Idiot' method. Say things that might seem in context, but obviously aren't.

18. Buy a computer. Leave it on when you aren't using it. Turn it off when you are.

19.Ask someone why the hell they ate your nachos, even though you ever had any nachos. Explain you will not leave him/her alone until he/she admits it. Follow that person everywhere. Always talk about the nachos. Guarranteed to make them admit or get a restraining order.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by Drunky Dec 24, 2004

Hehe I must use these sometime to liven up a conversation

Comment score: 0  

Posted by toxic_happiness Aug 03, 2005

I wonder wat it's like to be a slice of cheese?

Comment score: 4  

Posted by orange_syrup Sep 25, 2005

hahahahahaha ive prolly done most of that already without even knowing it. hahaha

Comment score: 1  

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