12 Reasons Homosexual Marriage Should Not Be Legal

Joke ID#4124
Funny (1.53)
Rating (1.51)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Byhilo
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1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Gay marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer life spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

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Posted by Crysania Dec 30, 2005

That wasnt funny at all.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Celanba May 14, 2006

To say your attempts at being funny failed would be an understatement. You're are prejudiced and your reasons are invalid and downright stupid. Have fun with being your pigheaded, closed-minded self.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by hilo May 15, 2006

um yeah... its called a joke. I really have no problems with gay marriage in fact I'm in full support of it. Maybe if you had actually read the joke instead of just the title?

Comment score: 0  

Posted by hilo Jun 02, 2006

Again if you read the whole thing you'll realize this is actually a joke. Read #8 if none of the rest. I do fully support Gay Marriage and I find it idiotic that its not legal. Let them suffer like the rest of us!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by girliepie Jun 06, 2006

I understand that you didn't mean any harm, but this isn't really that funny! Sry, but it just isn't.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by orange_syrup Jun 06, 2006

i dont think it should be legal but ...please dont shoot me just cuz i said that....those r definately not my opinions...and i agree i dont really think its all that funny....

Comment score: 0  

Posted by delft_blue Jun 07, 2006

Wow. Take a logic course, that was painfull

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Fathead Apr 17, 2012

Eh, they might be funnier if they were serious.

Comment score: -1  

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