Forest Gump Dies and Goes to Heaven


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Joke ID#3467
Funny (2.38)
Rating (0.64)
CategoryReligious  
Submitted ByAnchMike
Corrected By boodler
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St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates and says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been giving an entrance quiz for everyone. The tests are short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St Peter. I was looking forward to this. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.

St. Peter goes on, "I know, Forest, but the test has only three questions:
1)What days of the week begin with the letter T?
2)How many seconds are there in a year?
3)What is God's first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T?' Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though and guess I didn't specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one: "How many seconds in a year?""

"Now that one's harder" says Forest, "but I thought and thought about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve! Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Aw, come on, St. Peter, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second..."

"Hold it!" interrupts St. Peter, "I see where you're going with it. I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forest replies, "Andy."

St. Peter then asks how in the world he came up with the name Andy.

Forest replies, "You know, St. Peter, that song we sing in Sunday School: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own...."




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by colochaos Feb 25, 2006

do you even know what a hippocrit is? Good joke I liked it by the way!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by fauck Mar 31, 2006

what does this mean??

Comment score: 2  

Posted by fauck Apr 23, 2006

what does this mean??

Comment score: 2  

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