The Must-Have Wallet Guide


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Joke ID#282
Funny (3.09)
Rating (0.6)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted Bydsquared
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Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by dumbell Mar 18, 2003

ARE YOU SAYING WE GET GROUCHY!!!!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dsquared Mar 18, 2003

Here's fifty dollars... ;P

Comment score: 6  

Posted by datra16 Mar 21, 2003

love love love it. did you doubt?

Comment score: 1  

Posted by dsquared Mar 23, 2003

Never in a million years.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Newf May 23, 2003

LMAO

Comment score: 1  

Posted by fatty_lumpkin3 Sep 29, 2003

Just be happy it's not more then once a month.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dsquared Sep 29, 2003

Happy?... happy?... the sheer jubilation and joy is phenomenal ;P .

Comment score: -1  

Posted by kgirlca Feb 07, 2004

ditto

Comment score: 0  

Posted by DaGreatCowfucius Aug 06, 2004

Hahahahaha soooo true!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by juggleboy502 Jun 27, 2005

ROFLMAO!!!! omg this is sooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by dsquared Jun 27, 2005

Thanks.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by idiot_genius May 03, 2006

Hey its not our fault! but still, u had better use this or you could be dead meat!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by girliepie Jun 03, 2006

Pretty good, but not all of us are that sensitive!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by qwart Jun 05, 2006

i love pms jokes

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Shastaki Sep 10, 2006

I'm not THAT sensitive, but I'm still willing to bite people's heads off.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Potatosrmyfriend Apr 22, 2007

Biting heads off is a fun sport!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Hugme12 Apr 09, 2008

It's not that all you women are overly sensitive it's just that women have a history of being overly sensitive.A vast majority of women are infact easily flustered by what men say. Now of course not all women are so sensitive but when you're thinking of the majority of women you don't really even count those few non-sensitive females.

Comment score: 1  

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