Men and Women

Joke ID#15994
Funny (2.73)
Rating (0.8)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted Byshenqiang
Corrected By boodler
Special Add To My Favorites
Email Joke to Friend

Rate Joke
(60 votes so far)

If you become a registered user you can vote on this joke.

I. Why does a man wants to have a WIFE?

Because: W = Washing I = Ironing F = Food E = Entertainment.

Why does a woman wants to have a HUSBAND?

Because: H = Housing U = Understanding S = Sharing B = Buying A = and N = Never D = Demanding.


Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.


Show up naked. Bring Beer.

III. How To Impress A Man:

Trust him, cook at least 3 meals a day, go shopping often, don't ask him for the money, smile when you are mad, give him your paychecks, talk softly, don't ask where he is on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, love him, always say 'Yes dear', believe in his gambling, iron his clothes, polish his shoes, clean the house, know many recipes, pretend you enjoy beer/wine, be independent, wear Victoria's Secret clothes

How To Impress A Women

Make money & give her the money!

IV. Women's English...

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead!

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

Comments on this Joke
Hide Comments Below :

There are no comments on this joke

You need to Register before you can comment.
Username: Password:

New Users...      Forgot Password?