Modern Day Commandments

Joke ID#15594
Funny (1.83)
Rating (0.94)
Submitted Byreptile5000
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1. I am the Lord thy God and thou shalt have not too many other Gods besides me.

2. Thou shalt make no graven images. This is a major religion, not a shop class.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy God in vain without the express written consent of thy God. The name "Thy God" is the sole property of thy God. Any use of the name of thy God without the express writtenconsent of thy God is unauthorized and illegal and shall be punished by thy God.

4. Remember the Sabbath, thy squash game and thy other appointments.

5. Honor thy single parent.

6. Thou shalt not kill a man just to watch him die.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery and then run for office.

8. Thou shalt not steal. (Note: Not really applicable to car radios.)

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor when appearing before Judge Wapner.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, his servants, his flocks, or his powertools.

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