Middle Wife

Joke ID#14449
Funny (2.51)
Rating (0.72)
Submitted Bysgp538306
Corrected By boodler
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I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell, so I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that - and I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, abou

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by thekewlestkid Feb 11, 2007

that child knows a little too much but thats funny

Comment score: 0  

Posted by asdf Feb 17, 2007

wow! that was funny!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by ntsoaky Mar 14, 2007

This joke is not complete. sgp... can pliz submit the rest. Pliz. I like it.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Battery Mar 20, 2007

i found this on a search website "Then about 2 sundays ago, my mum started saying and going, "Oh, oh,oh" Erica puts her hands behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh" Now this kid is doing an hysterical duck-walk and groaning."My Dad calls the Middle Wife. She delivers babies but she doesn't have a sign on her car like the Domino's man. They got Mum to lie down in bed like this. Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, POP!...My Mum had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty. And it just blew up all over the bed like .pssshheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming the water flowing away. It was too much! ""Then the midfdle wife starts saying 'push-push' and 'breathe-breathe.' They started counting but never got past ten. Then, all of a sudden out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was from Mum's play centre!.. so there must be an awful lot of stuff in there." Then Erica stood up, took a theatrical bow and went back to her seat. I'm sure i applauded the loudest. Ever since, if it's show-and tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along

Comment score: 6  

Posted by ntsoaky Mar 21, 2007

ROFLOL! Thanx Battery, u r a star.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by BBKatsu Apr 28, 2007

I agree. Battery is da best!

Comment score: 1  

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