Women Will Never Say

Joke ID#14428
Funny (2.11)
Rating (2.43)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted BySquelch
Corrected By Giglez
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Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

-What do you mean today's our anniversary?
-I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
-Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
-The new girl in my office is a stripper...I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
-Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
-I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
-I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
-That was a great fart! Do another one!
-God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
-I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
-Can we not talk to each other tonight?
-I'd rather just watch TV.
-It's way tooo biggg, that'll never fit in my tight.....
-Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!
-I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
-And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
-Honey, does this outfit make my ass look too small?
-Dammit, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
-Is that phone for me? Tell those fuckers I'm not here.
-That was fun! When will all of your friends be over to watch football again?
-Honey, come here! Watch me do a Body Shot off of my hot friend Stephanie
-I'm tired of cuddling. !
-You're so sexy when you're hungover.
-I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.
-No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
-Your mother is way better than mine.
-I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.
-Hey you, pull my finger!
-Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
-I think hairy butts are really sexy.
-Let's subscribe to PLAYBOY!
-I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
-Christ, not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!
-I'm wrong. You must be right again.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by mmmcla01 Jan 26, 2007

This does not in any way, sshape , or form fit in the animal category!!! ...and this joke sucked!!! ...a little inappropriate too, don't ya think??

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Squelch Feb 02, 2007

i did not maen to put it in animal, my mistake.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by Giggles Feb 16, 2007

i thought it was rather funny and true

Comment score: 0  

Posted by schatzy228 Mar 04, 2007


Comment score: 0  

Posted by comedygrl2004 Apr 04, 2007

this was a little funny! more intresting to read though...

Comment score: 1  

Posted by DennysGirl Aug 27, 2007

I would totally say some of these things, and I am a woman.

Comment score: 1  

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