10 Ways to Get to Leave You Alone

Joke ID#13743
Funny (1.97)
Rating (0.85)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bypetertiger101
Corrected By boodler
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You know how occasionally you'll have people over, and they won't shut up and they whole visit is getting a little tedious? Or you'll be talking to this incredibly boring person who is too sensitive to tell to go away? Well, here is a solution to that boring-person-who-just-will-not-leave-you-alone.
1. Close your eyes and lean your head on their shoulder. Snort and drool slightly, and when they pause jerk back up and ask, "What did I miss?"
2. Sneeze. Inhale deeply and for a long time then do an extended, "AH-AH-AH-" and finally end in a big, "Achoo!" Aim at the person. Wipe your nose with the palm of your hand then pat them on the shoulder and say, "Don't you just hate allergies?"
3. Stare down at your feet the whole time, then when they seem to be losing steam, look them straight in the eye and say, "You're one of them, but send them this message: I WILL NOT SURRENDER." Then look back down at your feet
4. Interrupt them by poking their nose. Then wipe your finger on their cheek and tell them that they, "feel squishy."
5. Attempt to get them to lead in a round of, "If you're happy and you know it..."
6. Grab both of their hands in yours and start ballroom dancing while humming really loudly
7. Growl softly slowly getting louder and louder and louder. Culminate with a bark.
8. Collapse on the floor.
9. Jump up and down non-stop. Smile insanely and hyperventilate.
10. Say, "bye-bye, I have to go now."
And hey, if these don't work, improvise, or leave the room very quickly.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by smile4me Nov 07, 2006

HAHA!!!! I know exactly wat u r taking about!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by ntsoaky Nov 15, 2006

I've a friend lyk that n #1 has answered my prayers. She can just go on and on and on and, bcoz I dont want 2 hurt her feelings, I have 2 sit there n take it like a woman. Good joke n thanx.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by schatzy228 Nov 28, 2006

keep writing jokes like this, and you will be alone

Comment score: 0  

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