Lots of Puns


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Joke ID#11917
Funny (1.89)
Rating (0.93)
CategoryPuns  
Submitted Bybubbles101007
Corrected By Battery
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Tons of Puns

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating: always use condiments.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by Shastaki Jun 11, 2006

AAH hate puns.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Shastaki Jun 11, 2006

Nothing personal, I just hate them.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by 5600113 Jun 14, 2006

I agree,but that doesn't mean that I'm siding with Shastaki!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mellew Jun 17, 2006

y do u always do that? nething shataski says has to be rong to u. y??

Comment score: 1  

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